Squirrels are Evil!

One Dog -- One Mission: To uncover the Great Squirrel Conspiracy

Saturday, September 30, 2006

in trubble again!

i dug another little swimming pool in my backyard today! it wuz going so well but then lindsay saw me and told randy and randy had to come out and talk reelly loud about how much he did not like my swimming pool.

poor me! i moped around my backyard for a bit and wen i figured randy had forgotten about being mad i decided to come in. but noooooo! randy had not forgotten at all! as soon as i came in he whisked me over to the evil bathtub and gave my feet another bath! i said hey! we just did this! but randy didnt care.

wen the foot torcher wuz over and i was set free i ran back to my little door but oh my dogness! sumbody had installed a force field to keep me inside!!!

i had to wait around in the house for wut seemed like forever until my feet were all dry. finally lindsay released the force field and let me go back outside again! hurray for outside!

me and my hexapus spent the afternoon waching out for skwerrels.

life is pretty good wen you haf a hexapus to wach your back!

there is a mold garden in my walls!

sooooooo... while the silly peepol were busy messing up fixin up my kichen they looked inside the walls around the evil bathtub and found a garden! i thot that wuz neat-o! buster has such a cool garden at his place. maybe i cud take picktures of my garden too!

but my peepol were not so happy about the garden. in fact they didnt seem to like it one bit. they got a test kit to grow some samples of it in a little dish. after a cupple of days i got to see the samples growing in there and i haf to say... my garden is not nearly so pretty as busters.

the peepol said they haf to replace some walls and get a new evil bathtub. i said it wud be ok with me if they just close up that evil bathtub for good and never get another one. of corse nobody lissened to that idea. nobody ever lissens to ivys ideas!

the peepol now haf this wierd plastic stuff all around the evil bathtub. they said it wuz to keep it from watering the wall garden any more. strange peepol. i haf the feeling this is going to mean more skary noise and messing up my house. *sigh* and just wen i thot it wuz all over. Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

No more second breakfast!?!

the peepol are so mean!

after i fixed theyr plumming they stopped using those paper bowls to eat theyr breakfast cereal in. now they use the hard bowls and they wash them in the sink. and since they wash them in the sink now i dont get to lick the milk out! no more second breakfast for ivy!! how unfair is that?!? Posted by Picasa

Monday, September 25, 2006

wrong way!

while my peepol were out driving they saw a sign pointing the way to a very skary place. apparently in pittsburgh the evil skwerrel invasion is complete and the skwerrels now rule entire hills rite out in the open!

i think the little red sign in the bottom of the pickture says it all:

wrong way peepol! turn around now!

good thing i haf trained my peepol well enuf to recognize danger wen they see it. they stayed away from skwerrel hill homestead and came rite back home to me. good peepol! Posted by Picasa

Sunday, September 24, 2006

i am the plumming inspecktor!

my peepol got the rest of theyr silly countertop and thot they wud just hook up the dishwasher and faucet reelly quick. wrong! those silly peepol put that plumming together and took it apart more times than i go in and out my dog door in a day. and thats a lot of times!

they also went to home depot and lowes and earls hardware so many times that they got theyr picktures on the wall as the customers of the month! tee hee! just kidding about that part.

so anyway tonite they finally got the thing all hooked up. randy did the sink and lindsay did the dishwasher. i tell you those two peepol musta learned theyr plumming skills from playing mario brothers it took them so long to get it rite.

sumbody had to inspeckt for leaks and of corse the peepol cuddnt be trusted to do it so i had to lend my expert nose to the job of finding stray water.
nope! no leaks there!

hmmmm... that one looks good too. hey! maybe those peepol can do sumthing rite... if you give them enuf tries at it! tee hee!

Saturday, September 23, 2006

my new skweeky hexapus!

my friend abby has this fuzzy toy that i just luv. it is pink and fuzzy and it has six legs and it is just the cutest thing that you ever did see! wen my peepol went away this week and abbys peepol took me to theyr house i wuz so sad but then abby shared her fuzzy hexapus with me and that made me so much happier!

so today wen my peepol came home gess wut they brot me?

yes! yes! it is my very own hexapus!
o thank you peepol! i luv him very muchly!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

walks and cats and my skwerrel swimming pool

a cupple of mornings ago my peepol woke up early and we all went for a walk wen the sun wuz just getting up!

i sniffed lots of tubes and saw a cat! he didnt even pay attenshun to me though.

it wuz such a fun walk! and then yesterday my skweeky skwerrel wuz bored so i dug him a little swimming pool. how fun!

it seemed to be about the rite size so now i just haf to wait for it to rain.

while i waited i went inside and hopped up on the peepol bed. for sum strange reezon the peepol had theyr washed clothes up there getting in my way. no matter! i just laid rite on top of them.

wen the peepol came in and saw my paws they got all excited. and i dont meen excited in a fun way. noooooo the peepol were not happy with me one bit even tho i had nicely decorated theyr clean clothes with my paw prints! i tell you peepol are so ungrateful!

randy made me jump in the evil bathtub and gave my feet a bath! it took a long time to get all the dirt from my skwerrel pool out of my hairy hobbit toes. ugh! i am so glad that is over now!

oh and here is some happier news! my friend tubey nominated me for an awesome blog award! i wunder wut the award prize is? maybe some cookies? the other blog nominated is miss sunshade. i haf to tell you that her blog is reelly cool and she is so cute and i think you shud vote for her... as long as i can still get the cookies!

you can click here to vote if you wanna!

Saturday, September 16, 2006

dog blog dashboard and tagged by hana!

hurray for googley! randy set me up with a dog blog dashboard that shows me wut all of my dog friends are saying on theyr blogs all in one place! i luv it!

for some reezon hanas blog dozent update. randy said it is becuz her atom feed is obsoleet and her rss feed is brokie. wutever that meens i shur dont unnerstand. it is probly bloggys fault!

oh and hana tagged me so now i am supposed to come up with five things that make a good dog friend. everydog seems to haf a different take on wut this meens so i am going to think of five things that make my dog blogging friends so speshal:

1. wenever tubey tells about some stupid thing that humans did it makes me laf so hard! dogs are so much smarter than peepol!

2. freda always has such thotful and sumtimez crazy ideas. she reminds me that every issue has another side to think about and she keeps me using my noodle.

3. zach and hana and ender and all my eskie friends are just so cute that theyr picktures showing up on my blog makes my tail wag.

4. copper and roxie and sammy and andy and hershey and all my doglet buddies are good friends becuz they remind me that little dogs can make a big difference in the lives of theyr peepol. they all haf very speshal peepol that they take care of so well.

5. every other dog that cheers me up and makes me laf with theyr funny blogs and silly comments is my speshal friend too!

wowie! i think five things wuzznt enuf to cover all the great dog bloggers out there! maybe if i tag some other dogs they will think of others to woof about.

i tag: turbo, freda, gus, sam and beasley

P.S. gus did an awesome job with the dog friends thing. you gotta check out his post!

Thursday, September 14, 2006

half a countertop!

yesterday randy came home from work in the middle of the day! it wuz about peepol lunch time and i thot maybe he wuz going to give me lunch. but no such luck for ivy!

instead a big truck drove up and parked at my house without my permission!! i ran out back to yell at them and tell them to go away and gess wut? randy locked me outside! oh my dogness! now my whole house is unprotected!

i tried knocking on the door and i tried looking reely cute and pitiful but nothing worked.

those guys from the truck just came rite on in and they put giant rocks on my cabinets in my kichen!

randy didnt let me in until those guys and theyr truck had gone away. wen it wuz too late to protect anything. sheesh!

randy wuz not very happy becuz one of the big rocks broked and he said the guys in the truck will haf to come back another day. i said it musta broke becuz you didnt let ivy in. but of corse he didnt lissen to me. nobody ever lissens to ivy!

i just hope next time randy has learned his lesson and lets me protect the house!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

to the dump, to the dump, to the dump-dump-dump!

now that the peepol haf fixed my dog car we can take things to the dump again!

i helped tell lindsay how to drive to the dump. it wuz easy cuz i just followed my nose!

of corse i supervized while the peepol unloaded stuff and threw it in the big noizy container full of smells.

i also helped by keeping a wachful eye out for evil skwerrels and other dogs that mite try to steal our stuff!

i just looooove the dump! i cant wait til we go back again!

Saturday, September 09, 2006

fixin my dog car

the peepol reely did it this time! they broke my dog car! they were driving in it (without me i mite add) and almost back to my house wen stinky smoke started comin out of the wheel! they just barely made it home and they were glad that theyr ivy baby wuz not in the car for that skary ride.

so anyway they haf been so busy with the kichen that they didnt get around to fixin my car for the longest time until today i told randy he better fix that car soon so i can ride in it again!

we took the tire off and i inspected it. hmmmmm... no stinky smoke in there!

no stinky smoke in there either! i wunder if the peepol were fibbing to me? i cuddnt see wut the big problem wuz at all.

so randy talked to the older wiser randy on the farbarker and he said it needed to be scrubbed down and greased up. that sounded messy to me so i told randy he cud do it himself.

wile randy wuz busy getting his hands all icky i had the perfect chance to run the evil mailman out of my neighborhood for good! he wuz rite there and i cud haf run so fast he wuddnt haf even seen me comin. just a keeshond colored blur of lightning thats all he wudda seen. but lindsay told me no no so i just had to sit there and tell him that he wuz lucky that i decided not to teach him a lesson this time.

meanwile randy got my car all done and put the tire back on and gess wut? there wuz an icky evil spider on that tire! and randy had been sittin on the tire all this time! he wuz lucky that spider didnt bite him in the... tee hee!

lindsay sent the spider to the big cobweb in the sky ware all the flies get theyr revenge. payback time!

finally it wuz time to test out my car. i hopped in and we went for a ride all over my neighborhood. we stopped at every red sign and at lots of places in between. crazy randy just kept stopping everyware and each time we stopped he wuz just way too happy. silly randy!

of corse i wuzznt going to complain. riding in my car is enuf to make me smile any day... just as long as there is no stinky smoke comin out of the tires!

Friday, September 08, 2006

pumpkin moon

we had a big huge pumpkin moon last nite! i had to get help from randy to take a picture with my far looker spy camera becuz i cant hold it so still. holding still is just not wut a fun and active dog is all about!
i wonder why the moon got so pumpkin colored? maybe it is becuz he got used to seeing pam and ken out there in my backyard every nite and now he misses them! poor moon!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

second brekfest

since my peepol haf been going crazy fixin up my kichen they haf been eating theyr cereal in paper bowls and giving me the leftover milk!randy says i am a good helper for cleaning up. all i know is that i am reelly getting used to this second brekfest! i hope it never ends!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

pam and ken moved in with me!

after the slippry floors came in pam and ken moved in to. everypumpkin has moved in! randy sed theyr leaves were sick. then the bugz wanted to eat them. lindsay washed them off with the evil hose and randy put them on the slippry floor. now pam and ken are waiting for holler weenie to party theyr guts out. mmmm... pumpkin guts.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

saws and hammers and floor oh my!

this morning my peepol got out all the skary noise makers again. and just wen they had finally put them all away in the garage too! geez! of corse i wondered wut they were up to...
then the noize started! i knew it! i dont like that saw one bit. it is almost as bad as the hammer monster.
so i spent most of the day guarding my backyard against skwerrel invaders.

i peeked in every once in a wile to supervise and scold the noize makers. be kwiet! i said but of corse nobody lissens to ivy. specially not tools!
then beth and james came over and that wuz fun! they have cats but they are ok anyway. they are specially ok cuz they brot chicken in a bucket with them! mmmmm! then they started with the noize makers again and kept me up waaaay past dog bedtime.

all of that crazy noize making for wut? this slickery floor? i dont know why the peepol waste theyr time on this foolishness. humph!

Friday, September 01, 2006

a wet walk and a big dog

me and randy went for our walk on the leesh yesterday and lots of water dripped on us from the sky and got us all wet. i got to sniff three different tubes with water comin' out and it wuz great!

then we saw the biggest dog ever lookin at us from down the street. he started running up to us and wen he got close he slowed down like he wuz sneekin' up on us. his peepol were all in a car drivin' behind him and honking the car noiz-maker and yellin at him. they said hobo! get back here! bad dog! but he didnt lissen to them one bit.

finally he got to us and he wuz so tall! i had to put my paws on his sholders just to sniff his nose! we said hey hey to each other and then he went home with his peepol. such a fuss over a little nose sniffing!