Squirrels are Evil!

One Dog -- One Mission: To uncover the Great Squirrel Conspiracy

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Hey its my Benjamin!

hey hey dog friends! you all were so totally rite about why my peepol were gone for so long. i didnt see my randy or lindsay for a few days and i wuz afraid they had forgotten my brekfest and dinner but then the bacon lady and the other randy came to feed me and go for walks and give me a little hat to sniff and we just had the bestest time!

meanwhile my peepol were at the baby arrival place meeting my benjamin for the first time ever... wen they got home today i stole the spy camera and looked at all the stuff i missed...

here is my benjamin getting luved on by my lindsay and my randy:

and here is my benjamin getting a kiss:

here is my benjamin getting luv from randy. you know i think if it werent for my randy's fuzzy face maybe benjamin wud haf more hair than him! tee hee!

oh here is a good one... benjamin getting luv from the bacon lady and the other randy.

and here is ivy getting luv from... well, pretty much just the blue rug. i had to stay home and be good for so long it just about killed me!

but it wuz all worth it wen my peepol came home and i got to meet my newest peepol. i gave benjamin two kisses on his cheek and told him he cud stay here wif me. how cud i resist such a cute little peepol puppy?

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

up all nite!

crazy peepol haf kept me up all nite. the peepol haf been watching tv and counting things i dont know wut. i think sumthing is up. i got my dogfood for brekfest a few minutes ago. the big red bags are packed like we are going on vacashun. wut are these peepol doing?

Thursday, November 22, 2007

wut food is the bestest?

hey hey dog friends! it is that day again... that happy rejoiceful day wen the whole house smells yummy and i get to hang out wif my peepol in the kitchen all day. the problum is that there are so many good foods to choose from it is hard to know which one is the best.

i think that gravy is probubbly the most perfect food there is becuz it tastes like butter and turkey and fat and you can slurp it down fast wifout chewing. i bet you all haf your favorites too. wut do you think? (if anydog votes for the green beans i am afraid i cannot consider you a dog anymore).







Cranberry Sauce:

Green Beans:

Sweet Potatoes:

Apple Pie:

Pumpkin Pie:

Pecan Pie:


Sunday, November 18, 2007

hairy window dogs and skwerrel blow-out

some of my dog friends mite remember waaaaay back in december wen i got sum cool new gard dogs for my window. well i thot they looked a little cold and hairless so i haf been working on them for almost a year now and i wuz just thinking that they finally had a pretty good coat of hair on them...

...and then yesterday my crazy peepol finally noticed (reelly observent these peepol are!) and they "cleaned" them all off again!

but i didnt haf much time to fret about my dogs losing theyr hair becuz sumthing even more tragic happened yesterday:

The sad song of the skweeky skwerrel

On a crisp autumn day with the sun brightly shining,
I sat in my yard wif my toys all reclining;
Then i saw the grass-eater! Let's move it, I cried!
So I grabbed all my toys and i brot them inside!

Wen I looked at my skweek toys, I counted not three
but two skwerrels only were staring at me;
Theyr eyes told me volumes, tho they spoke not a word:
Go rescue our brother, Skweek Skwerrel the Third!

I dashed out my dog door, and glancing around,
I searched for that skwerrel, but none could be found.
Then I heard a great "Thwack!" sound from off to my right;
I ran to the scene and beheld quite a sight.

(note: puppies may want to stop reading here)

The grass-eater got him! It ate him like grass!
He had a big hole now instead of an ____!
His stuffing had blown out the side of his neck;
My poor skweeky skwerrel wuz reelly a wreck!

I'm sorry, i said wif a tear in my eye,
but Skweek Skwerrel the Third didn't give a reply.
Oh, well, I thought then as I bid him adieu,
I've still got two more toys just like you to chew!

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Monday, November 12, 2007

ungrateful randy

thank you to all my dog friends who liked my omlette instructions. you are all wunderful friends. unfortunately peepol are not always as thotful and nice as dogs.

i asked my lindsay if she liked the dinner i made and she said Ivy, that omlette was wonderful. thank you so much! and then i asked my randy and he kinda looked down and said Yeah, it was good. but i knew better! wut wuz wrong wif it? i asked, staring him rite in the eye. Well, it could have been a little... um, fluffier. he replied. fine! i will just haf to make you another betterer one!

so i set out to make an omlette for brekfast that even a randy cud not complain about. i used three eggs instead of five and this time i put two yolks in wif the cream and left one yolk in wif the rest of the egg whites. that made the eggs whip up much bigger and fluffier and the cream not get so thick and stiff.

then i used a smaller skillet so it had less room to spread out and used even more butter in the skillet (more butter is always better... that is ivy's first rule of cooking!) and i didnt cook it quite as long on the stove and i cooked it at 375 instead of 400 dogrees in the hot cook box.

voila! i think it comed out reelly pretty.

i proudly presented my masterpiece to my randy and asked wut he thot... putting just a little bit of growl into my otherwise sweet voice so he wud get the hint. Oh yeah, Ivy! he said That was the best omlette ever! You can make me an omlette any time!

tee hee! i thot to myself... don't you wish!
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Sunday, November 11, 2007

how to make dinner for peepol

last nite my lindsay wuz so tired that she just wanted to sleep and my randy wuz too busy playing wii olympic games wif mario and sonic to be of any use, so i decided to save the day and make dinner for my peepol!

i dont unnerstand why peepol food has to be so much more harder to make than dog food. to make my dinner it just has to be poured in a bowl. super easy! but peepol food takes lots of steps and is hard work to make. no wonder peepol are more crankier than dogs are. they make everything harder than it has to be!

so wut to make? it wuz a hard decision. but as my friend the hexapus always says: the best ingredients make the best meals. ok so maybe he doesnt always say that but it sounds good anyway. so i made sumthing out of the best ingredients: butter, cream, eggs and cheese... an omlette!

for all you dog and cat friends who dont know how to make an omlette — here are some destructions instructions for you.

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Saturday, November 10, 2007

dogster photo contest

hey hey dog friends! haf you seen the coolest dog photo contest on dogster? i decided to enter and you can look at my pickture and vote for it at this link if you want to:
VOTE for Ivy in The 3rd Annual World’s Coolest Dog & Cat Show!
if any of you enter picktures in the contest be sure to let me know so i can vote for you too!

luv ivy

Friday, November 09, 2007

cleaning up is hard to do

my peepol are crazy. did you know that? absolutely crazy. they decided that it wuz reelly important to clean up my whole house to get ready for BP. now i ask you: does a baby care how clean things are? will he be upset if there are a few dog hair tumbleweeds here and there? no!

so i decided it wuz a good time to take a nap. but... oh no!

those crazy peepol just had to clean my bed too! sheesh!

they took my soft fuzzy blue cover and my cushy quilt from nana and torchered them in the washing machine. i gess i will just haf to hold down the carpet instead. it is a ruff life living wif crazy peepol.


Sunday, November 04, 2007

fall leaves

Fall Leaves

by ivy dog pargman

i think fall leaves are reelly neat:
they crunch like snow beneath my feet;
they pitter-patter down the street,
and twirl in tiny twisters — schweet!
but they sure are awful things to eat.

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