Squirrels are Evil!

One Dog -- One Mission: To uncover the Great Squirrel Conspiracy

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

midnight patrol

hey hey dog friends! my super cool light-up atomic dog leash finally came and i got to try it out on my first ever midnight patrol!

it wuz reelly cool to look for skwerrels in the dark but kinda skary too. i looked in tubes and sniffed in the grass and ran down the street to try to catch the skwerrels by surprise but the only one who surprised anybody wuz sandy surprising me! she snuck up on me in the dark and sniffed my butt! oh well... i will haf to get those skwerrels some other nite. wut a cool leash i haf!

Saturday, July 28, 2007

more training uniforms!

hey hey dog friends! my lindsays friend marsha gave BP some presents and she wuz nice enuf to include four new baby dog training uniforms! how did she know?

this one mite be sending the wrong message i think. you are supposed to run toward the bone - not away from it!

this one is better. i will haf to make sure BP wears this one more often. you gotta train puppies rite from the start!

i hope all my dog friends out there are hafing a good weekend wif your peepol!
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Thursday, July 26, 2007

canine floss

i haf heard that floss is good for you so i thot i wud try sum.

cud i help it that the stupid little floss house wuz hard to get into? i didnt mean to break it up. i just wanted to taste a little bit of flossy goodness... so why did i get yelled at? no fair i say! no fair!
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Wednesday, July 25, 2007

communicashun part 2

this is the look i give my peepol every morning en they about to leave me behind.
stay here and be good! thats wut they say.
and i sigh a deep sad dog sigh.
ok. i will.
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Monday, July 23, 2007


my lips arent moving but my eyes are saying dog food!
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brave chihuahua and spying skwerrels

did you hear the news from colorado? a chihuahua named zoey wif the heart of a lion saved a baby from a rattlesnake by stepping between them and taking the bite herself!
link to story

go zoey!! you are my hero!

and in iran the government is accusing evil skwerrels of spying! i knew those skwerrels were tricky but i had no idea they wud try sumthing like that. crazy skwerrels!
link to story

thanks to hershey for telling me about the skwerrel story. my peepol thot it wuz reelly funny wen i showed them. humph! peepol just dont understand how serious the skwerrel threat is! good thing i am here to protect them... just like a mighty chihuahua!

Sunday, July 22, 2007

the giant crouton

mmmmmm... i luv my crouton!

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Saturday, July 21, 2007

ware did my peepol go?

last nite my peepol did not come home for the longest time. it wuz dog bedtime and i said ware are you peepol? but nobody answered. and then i dont remember wen it wuz but it musta been reelly late and my peepol came in the door and i almost barked at them! they went rite to bed and didnt hardly talk to me but instead started reading a book!

so this morning i waked them up and asked them ware they wuz all nite and my randy showed me these picktures...

wow! look at all those peepol up so late! i bet all theyr dogs were wondering ware they were!

is this wut a baby looks like? i like those hears! maybe my baby brother will haf fuzzy keeshond hears like mine!

wowzers! that is one skary lookin' boy!

my randy said he read a lot of books and my lindsay sleeped on the floor.

well i am glad they finally came home. silly peepol!
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Friday, July 20, 2007

storytime with my lindsay

my friend gussie told me that his muzzer reads books to him and that she used to read to the babies before they wuz born... so i asked my lindsay if she cud read to me and BP and gess wut book we got to read??

the dog book! my second-favoritest book in the world! of corse my most favorite book is go dog go!

i hope BP likes dog books too!
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Thursday, July 19, 2007

holy flying ben and jerry!

hey hey dog friends and girl-girl! you are not going to believe wut just happened... there i wuz in my living room carefully watching my randy grunting and prying at a ben and jerrys chubby hubby ice cream wif a spoon wen all of a sudden a chunk of ice cream popped out and flew thru the air and landed on the floor rite at my feet!

i moved reelly quick but not as quick as my randy said no! no! not the ice cream ivy! and i am such a good girl that i stopped rite there... just about to lick that ice cream... and my randy scooped it up and he threw it away!

now i wuz sad to not get the ice cream but i thot it wuz unfair that nobody got to eat it. if he didnt want it why didnt he let me haf it?

but anyway i got a lot of ear scratches and a good-girl ivy and i got a yummy cookie. but not quite as yummy as ice cream. *sigh* wut can a poor dog do?
who knows wut is next? flying steak? flying butter? mmmmmmm.... butter!

Monday, July 16, 2007

i will train him


look what aunt claire sent to me! it is a training uniform for BP. someday he will be the bestest dog ever. he will chase skweerls and sit and stay and run thru the dog door and go for walks and eat cookies... wait. only i will eat the cookies. i can't wait to roll in the mud with my BP. BP must mean best puppy.
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Friday, July 13, 2007

the toy that is not for ivy!

well dog friends... it has begun. hershey warned me about it and now it has happened. there is a fuzzy new toy in my house that i cannot chew on!

i thot it wuz a wunderful new addition to my family of fuzzy toys but wen i tried to take him and christen him my lindsay said in her voice-that-must-be-obeyed: no ivy! not for you! i cuddent believe my ears so i tried to take him again and got the same response!

wen turbo is president i hope he makes a law that babies cant own toys before they are even born! how wrong is that? the baby shuddent mind if i play wif the toy just a little bit rite now!

i listened very carefully to wut my peepol were saying all this week and i found out that BP is a boy. so now we need to haf a dog vote to name him. i nominate toy-stealer as a very appropriate name. anydog else haf some good ideas? i will take your name ideas and then haf a vote to see wich is the most popular dog name. who cares wut the peepol think? dog names are the best!

vote for your favoritest dog names here:
Turbo (suggested by Roxie Sammy & Andy):

Purina (suggested by tippy):

Iams (suggested by Ivy):

Mitch (suggested by Maggie):

Gus (suggested by Gus):

Peter Paul Pargman (suggested by Gussie's Muzzer):

Hershopper (suggested by Hershey and Copper):

Mr. Mary-Maragaret (suggested by Mary-Margaret):

Jivey-Wivy Oy Vei (suggested by Zach):

Little Pooper (suggested by MJ):

Ivy Jr. (suggested by Hana masquerading as Bill):

Puppy P. Pargman (the name of Randy's Dad's childhood toy):

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Monday, July 09, 2007

a what? a what? a baby!

i promised an investigation and i haf delivered. here is a partial transcript of my interrogation of my randy:

ivy: hana says that BP means "Baby Pargman." is this true?
randy: hana is a smart eskie!
ivy: just answer the questions.
randy: yes, we're having a baby. We've been telling you that for some time now.
ivy: why was i not informed?
randy: i said we've been telling you... you just never listen to your people! (tee hee!)
ivy: ok, ok... so am i still your baby?
randy: you will always be our hairy baby.
ivy: do i still get cookies?
randy: yeah, nobody else wants to eat your cookies anyway!
ivy: ok, i guess it is ok for you to bring me a baby. but i get to name it!
randy: no way! dogs do not get a vote in baby-naming! forget about it!
ivy: but i liked Barkley, and Woofus, and my favorite is Iams.
randy: (walks off, shaking his head)

we will just haf to finish that interrogation later... maybe after i get my dinner.

on friday my dog car got converted into an ivy limo and my peepol took me for a reelly long ride to the state that is high in the middle and round on both ends... ohio!

it is a very good thing that i wuz there in the car or else my peepol mite haf missed all the dead tires and animals on the side of the road. they must haf been very happy that i told them about every one!

even a hard-working keeshond needs a head-scratch and a nap every once in a while.

this is the sign telling dogs to keep theyr peepol out of trubble. see the pickture of the good man staying close on his leash?

along the way we stopped at a giant store that sells good-smelling things like leather gloves and jerkey meats and prime rib sandwiches! i got a bite of my randy's sandwich.... mmmm!

wen we got to ohio we visited with all my old friends! here is me and my randy wif my good friend tony who got way taller than the last time i saw him. we stayed at the best house ever where jim and cozy live and they haf deer heads on the wall. i luv those deer heads. jim gave me ginger snaps and taught me to pee when he says "hit it!" and took me on the longest walk ever!!

on the ride home we stopped at a gas station that had a drive-thru that gives you yummy treats thru a window. my lindsay didnt think it wuz all that yummy but i sure did! i will haf a chicken and a hot dog and a meatball and a pulled pork and a fried fish please. thank you very much.

we got home way past my dog bed time and we all went to sleep. i am still trying to catch up on all the sleep i missed. dont tell the skwerrels... they think i am still watching!

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

what is this??

my peepol went for a ride in my dog car and brot back this thing... it moves on its own and i think it mite be alive! i will haf to keep my eye on it to make sure it doesnt mess up the living room and blame me for it!
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Tuesday, July 03, 2007

the best lollipop ever!

oh my dogness! i must haf gone across the rainbow bridge and found myself in dog heaven! i finally got to eat that lollipop that my peepol got for me in the dog bakery we went to the other day and it wuz all carob-beef-and-liver goodness!

if you are wondering how many licks it took to get to the center... it wuz 27 licks and just after the camera went off i found the middle of it. mmmmmmm! every dog shud haf a lollipop like mine!