Squirrels are Evil!

One Dog -- One Mission: To uncover the Great Squirrel Conspiracy

Monday, May 28, 2007

Seven things about my dogself

hey hey dog friends! i hope every dog is remembering the dogs and peepol who served and sacrificed for our sake on this memorial day. dont forget to thank any of them that you see out on your dogvenchers!

tasha and eva tagged me to tell seven things about my dogself so that is wut i am going to do in this post. i also tag freda to tell seven amazing things about her dogself. that shud be reelly interestin'!

so here are my seven things:

the first is that i'm brilliant, at least, compared to peepol-kind;
i've learned so many words of theyrs but they know none of mine.
they never lissen when i haf important stuff to say,
but i can hear "it's dinner time!" from half a mile away.

secondly, my ears are soft and cute as they can be;
they get me out of trubble wen the peepol yell at me!

the third is that my farts dont stink: to me they smell like roses!
i don't know why my peepol run and scream and hold theyr noses.

the fourth is that i am a brave and mighty skwerrel-hunter;
and if i had some football shoes, i'd be a skwerrel-punter!

the fifth is that i haf so many toys at my command;
the guard bears are my favorites but the rest are just as grand:
my skweeky skwerrels sing to me before i go to bed,
my hexapus is crazy fun for six legs and a head.

my sixth thing that i want to share is how i luv to go!
i'll go for walks or go for rides: i luv that word, you know.
i dont like to "stay here, be good"; i don't like being still.
if there is any way to go, you bet your skwerrels i will!

the seventh thing i haf to say is that i smell reel good:
i never need to take a bath; i don't think that i shud
be forced to smell like stinky soap that peepol think is pretty.
to wash away my ode d'Dog wud surely be a pity.


Friday, May 25, 2007

catching up!

Back in my own house!
hey hey dog friends! at long last me and my peepol are done cat sitting and we are back in my own house again. i didnt even get vaporized by the cat once. hurray for my own house! i never knew i cud miss it so much. even the skwerrels in my backyard looked nice... until i chased them and then they just looked skared. tee hee!

Who moved my magic drinking bowl?

while i wuz at the cat house my magic drinking bowl got moved into my living room and replaced wif a little tiny drinking bottle. i wuzent very happy about that...

but now that i am back in my house the big bowl is back in its place. hurray for the magic drinking bowl!

Pretzels just for me!
while we were at the cat house my randy made pretzels again. they smelled soooo good and i reelly thot i deserved some pretzels as a reward for putting up wif that cat and being so good. but of corse i didnt get any. wen my peepol came home from work they had a little bag and it smelled reelly good...

hey hey! pretzels just for ivy! but wait a minute... those pretzels are a lot smaller than the ones that you peepol get to eat. *sigh* life is so not fair wen you are the dog.

Eating cats
the big skary brown truck man brot a box to my dog house while i wuz gone and i didnt even get to bark at him! i knew it wuz from the brown truck man becuz it smelled like him. grrrrr!
wen my randy opened the box he said there were some cats inside. oh no! not more cats!
my randy said these cats were for eating but i didnt get any. hey! ivy wants to eat cats too!

Tummy Tagged!

while i wuz away i got tummy tagged by indy pindy. now i am not one to lie around on my back very much becuz it makes me sneeze. i had to sneeze a lot of times to get my randy to take this pickture!

My bloggy story

i also got tagged by hana to tell the story of how i started blogging. well it all started one day wen i wuz telling my randy about how bored i wuz all the time and how i never got to do anything fun. randy said that i got to do fun things all the time and he said i shud write about all the stuff i did so i cud look back at my writing and remember all the good times. i said ok but i didnt think there wud be much to write about. but for once i gess i wuz wrong becuz not only did i haf a lot of fun things to write but i also made a lot of good dog friends and i can read about theyr dogvenchers too! i luv all the pawsome dogs (and hamsterriers) that i haf met online. dog blogging rules!

Saturday, May 19, 2007

they sit on cats dont they?

ok ok so i haf finally dragged my randy over to my dog pooter so i cud show you all wut torcher i am enduring.

at first i wuz happy wen my peepol told me we wud be cat-sitting. oh boy! i thot... i wud luv to sit on cats! but that wuzzent wut they meant.

this is the cat who rules the house ware we are staying. wen i met him the first time i told him that i wuz there to cat sit and he said nothing at all (wich wuz kinda skary) and then fixed me with those big eyes of his and talked rite into my head and told me that if i so much as got near him wif my dog behindly in a sitting position he wud rip me a new one. i dont know exactly wut that meant but it sounded reelly skary!

here we are on the back porch. the big cat told me that he has a magic gold talisman on his collar that allows him to vaporize dogs just by thinking bad thots about them. that sounded like a cat fib to me but i am kinda afraid to find out for sure.

here i am eating frosty paws in the cat kitchen. my peepol were so mean they let the cat taste my frosty paws first! but he didnt like it so i got to haf the whole thing myself. whew! wut were my peepol thinking? if you want to know whether frosty paws tastes as good wif a cat watching you the answer is yes!

i wunder if my dog friends who haf cat experience can help me learn how to live around this big skary cat. can they reelly vaporize you? is it bad if they rip you a new one? a new what? do i even want to know? help me!

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Thursday, May 17, 2007

imprisoned... by cats!

i am sorry that i haf not been writing for a few days. first my randy played hide-dog-seek wif me (he gave up and came home after just 2 days) and wen he came home he wuz sicky! so i haf to take care of him to get him better so he can help me write in my bloggy again. but that isnt an easy job becuz my randy and lindsay are staying at a cat house instead of at my house!

the evil bathtub is all ripped up (which is just fine by me!) and there are strangers who come to my house every day and spend all theyr time in the bathroom making skary noises. my peepol said we had to go live someware else for a little while. i said they cud live in my backyard if they wanted to but of corse they werent lissening to me.

so we went to live in a house with a cat. it is very strange. i will put some picktures up on my bloggy just as soon as i can drag my randy and the camera over to the computer.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

oh no! not a haircut!!

today my peepol decided that my fur wuz just too pretty and long so they had to cut it off. yeah they are pretty much just crazy sumtimes.

hey peepol! heres a blue bear... why dont you cut his hair instead? (sorry blue bear)

i like my ear hairs just fine the way they are!

oh well... nobody ever lissens to ivy!

did all that reelly come off of me? geez! i probably cud hide half a dozen cookies in there!
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Friday, May 11, 2007

evil skwerrels of death

wowie dog friends... lots of skwerrel news today! first my randy and lindsays friend peri sent me a news story about skwerrels in denver carrying the black deth plague! i knew that skwerrels cud be skary but i never knew they cud be kamikazee biological weapons. yikes!
next i heard from freda that a skwerrel attacked grown-up peepol and a peepol puppy in front of a school! is no place safe from skwerrels?

then i heard from tasha and eva about how they attacked the skwerrel fortress at theyr house and even made theyr mom and dad feel like they were helping. whew! i am glad at least sumbody is striking back against the evil forces of skwerreldom.

in other news today... i looked and looked and finally found out wut i think those fuzzy white things on my door mite be. i think they were silkworm moth cocoonses! i say were becuz my skardy-cat peepol already got rid of them. they thot they were spiders and didnt want them on my door. silly peepol! now i dont get to raise silkworm moths and wach them grow up. phooey!

in better news... i got a new new bag of dog food and after my randy poured it into the magic dog food house i got to lick the bag! woo hoo!
mmmmm.... lick lick lick.... skwerrels? wut skwerrels?

i hope your day ended as yummy as mine did. happy weekend dog friends! i hope your peepol take you on lots of walks and dogvenchers.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

dog tea! dog tea!

dog tea! dog tea!
that's the bestest treat for me!
some mite say it is icky
but i wud haf to disagree
cuz i luv dog tea, yessiree!

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

does anydog know wut these are?

i found these strange things on my front door screen yesterday. i showed them to my peepol and they said ewww! and they threw them away. wut are these things? does anydog know?
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Monday, May 07, 2007

casper's auction

hey hey dog friends! if you havent heard about the auction to raise money for casper d. dog's medical bills you shud reelly check it out. tell your peepol to buy you some dog presents and help casper at the same time.

Friday, May 04, 2007

wut is that stuff on the magic food box?

hey hey copper and hana! you dogs askeded me about the stuff on my magic food box. i reelly didnt know wut it wuz so i askeded my randy and he said it wuz frigets. i said wut? and he said frigets.

i think sumtimes peepol talk gibberish wen they dont know wut else to say. randy cud tell that i didnt unnerstand cuz he said he wud show me and we cud make a dog video about wut wuz on the magic food box. i said ok randy!

so we made a video and i pretty much just watched my randy spend a lot of time messing wif the silly things on the food box and drinking beer until he wuz finally happy wif it. he said it wuz pretty cool. i said it wuz pretty stupid. but peepol are strange anyway. i will never unnerstand wut makes them happy!
and i still dont reelly know wut those things are. huh.