Squirrels are Evil!

One Dog -- One Mission: To uncover the Great Squirrel Conspiracy

Sunday, June 29, 2008


my dog friends, i never thot i wud say this but my bp is starting to scare me... every day his teeth grow bigger and bigger!

see? aren't those teeth scary looking?

and today he chased me all over the house -- not just in his rolling baby-mobile of doom, either -- he is starting to get around fast on his own paws!! he keeps trying to grab my fur and i just know he is getting ready to sink those teeth into me if he catches me.

i am going to sleep wif one eye open from now on!
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Saturday, June 28, 2008

thanks benjamin!

i luv how my benjamin wakes my randy up early even on weekends cuz it means i get brekfest on time every day! i used to haf to wait forever on saturdays to get brekfest but not anymore! thanks my benjamin!

Saturday, June 21, 2008

poor under-photographed ivy

i am starting to notice a disturbing trend: my peepol are not taking as many picktures of me as they used to.

for example... a few days ago me and my randy and lindsay and bp went for a ride-in-the-car to haf a dogventure.

of course my camera came along and i wuz happy to pose for cute ivy picktures as we loaded up.
i kept posing for picktures the whole trip but nobody paid any attention to ivy. instead, my bp got in all the picktures!

see? no ivy in that one.

no ivy there either!

today my bp wuz eating blackberry oatmeal in his lofty throne of yumminess and my randy thot it wuz great fun to take picktures of him. as a matter of fact, my bp is often photographed while he is eating. but does anybody take picktures of me eating my dogfood? no! of corse not! why shud they? *sniff sniff*

i'm just feeling a little under-photographed lately... can you blame me?
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Saturday, June 14, 2008

Door Blocker!!

ivy's version:
my benjamin has a new and disturbing babymobile. all of a sudden he went from not being able to chase ivy to faster-than-baby-lightning movement! every time i am not looking for a minute i hear speeding wheels coming up behind me and i haf to run before he grabs my tail! no free rides on the tail! today i ran outside to get away and he blockaded my little ivy door with his wheels of doom! oh no! will i haf to live outside forever? why is my benjamin doing this? i thot he liked me!

ben's version:
zvdds79y54nh tg3rft5tqt wdZ.Q. 2B E3R4RG T46
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Saturday, June 07, 2008

Source of the Squeak

my peepol take my benjamin in his room sumtimes and put him on a tall table. there are lots of interesting smells when ben is up there. lately there have been noises too! i keep searching for the squeak. if it squeaks then it must belong to ivy.

hey hey benjamin that squeaky duck belongs to me!
i must have that duck...
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loud, stinky bagel!

this morning i wuz minding my own dog business wen all of a sudden a stinky smell invaded my nose and a terrible screaming beeping sound assaulted my ears!

i ran away and took cover between the magic white drinking bowl-o-plenty and the evil bathtub, but the beeping and stinking kept right on going strong as ever.

my randy waved a magic cape in the air around the flashing red eye that looks down from the ceiling, and recited sum interesting words and the beeping finally quit.

i came out from my place of cover and followed my nose to find wut made the red eye so very mad and this is wut i found:

i think it used to be a bagel.

poor bagel.
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Thursday, June 05, 2008

sneeky ninja skwerrel!

a sneeky skwerrel wuz hiding out on my back fence and using his ninja powers to evade detection.

i gess sandy has some sort of super-vision that lets her see invisible ninja skwerrels!

Monday, June 02, 2008

what the hail?

oh my dogness! we had the biggest, suddenest thunderstorm yesterday!

there wuz crazy wind and buckets of water flying sideways and lightning and thunder and all kinds of stuff going on in the sky. i didnt go out in it even though i like to stand in the rain cuz the last time i tried that i got hit by hail! no more hail for ivy!

the big tree in my front yard that the birds always fight over got so upset about the storm that she lost her head!

good thing it didn't hit my house and mess up my new ruf!

i gess those birds will haf to find some other tree to fight about. ha!

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