Squirrels are Evil!

One Dog -- One Mission: To uncover the Great Squirrel Conspiracy

Friday, August 31, 2007

i am the camera ham

my peepol were trying to take picktures of the baby room tonite...

...little did they suspect that my dog camera is loyal and only takes picktures of me!
tee hee!
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Sunday, August 26, 2007

BP presents and monster legs!

yesterday my peepol were gone for a long time. wen they came back they brot all kinds of new stuff into my house! i checked it all out and it smelled ok so i asked wut it wuz. more BP stuff! said my lindsay. there were toys and tiny clothes that had dogs on them and all kinds of stuff. i will haf to show you more of it later if i can sneak it away from the peepol.

then my peepol cooked up some yummy-smelling but skary-looking sticks. wut is that? i asked. monster legs! said my randy.

yikes! monster legs?! my peepol eat reelly strange stuff.

i dont like monsters and i sure wudent make them mad by eating theyr legs.
sumwhere out there i bet there is a legless monster hopping around looking for my peepol and boy is he mad!
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Saturday, August 25, 2007

tail trim and love from casper

this morning i got my tail and fuzzy bloomers trimmed. my lindsay says they bring in too much dirt. i say that i will just haf to work harder to bring in the dirt now.

wen the trimming wuz done i got the yummiest-treat-in-the-world (heartguard)! and then my randy let the evil noisy carpet-eater eat up all my trimmed off hair! i dont think it wuz smart to let that evil carpet-eater get a taste of me... now he is going to hunt me down in my sleep i just know it!

in happier news today - i got a special note and a magnet from casper! woo hoo! i luv it wen i get mail. the magnet went up on the magic food box to help hold up one of the many picktures of me.

you know that got me thinking - if there are so many picktures of me on the food box i think that makes it mine. wut do you think dog friends?
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Tuesday, August 21, 2007

why oh why do i haf to get dry?

Why oh why do i haf to get dry
wen i just worked so hard to get wet?
i ran thru the rain and i slid thru the grass
and i wuzzent half done playing yet!

But you called me inside and "Oh Ivy!" you cried,
as i jumped thru my little dog door,
"What on earth were you thinking? Your dog fur is stinking!
Just think what you'll do to the floor!"

so i sat and i stayed; theyr commands i obeyed
and i did my dog-best to be good,
cuz the whole time i dreamed, my keeshond brain schemed:
to escape just as soon as i cud!


Sunday, August 19, 2007

bye bye abby!

today abby went back home wif her mom.
wen she wuz gone i got all my fuzzy toys back from the too-high-to-reach place.

i think my toys must haf missed me a whole lot cuz they call wanted to snuggle wif me on my bed.

i dont think i will miss abby as much as i missed my toys.

saying goodbye can be reelly tough;
unless, of course, you've just had enough
of the one who is leaving, becuz she's so loud
and annoying and bouncy and whiny and proud
and she steals all your toys and she eats all your food
and she has no dog-manners cuz she's very dog-rude.
then i think, in that case, wen she walks out your door,
you can say 'see you later!' and mean 'never more!'
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Saturday, August 18, 2007

sun dogs

last nite my randy got all excited and said hey dogs! there is a nice sunset out there. let's go take some pictures!

well of corse i know the secret that cameras equal cookies so i dashed out my dog door to follow my randy and of corse abby followed me like she always does to put herself in the middle of wutever is happening.

here is abby looking like trubble. she always looks like trubble to me!

here is my beautiful profile.

and here is my favorite smile that gets me out of all kinds of trubble!

but after all that hard work posing... no cookie! hey! wut gives?!?
peepol are so unreliable. *sheesh*
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Thursday, August 16, 2007

cousin conspiracy!

well well dog friends the mystery has been solved and the culprits caught red-pawed!
yes my lindsay came home last nite and it wuz rite in the middle of my sleep. i thot i wuz dreaming that my dog car pulled into the driveway but then i heard the key in the door and i waked up and barked and abby made her funny noize that sounds like yippie-i-ooooo that she calls a bark and then my lindsay came in the door!

well it wuz very exciting but it wuz all very sleepy too so we all went back to dream land and i chased reelly fat slow skwerrels until the radio said it wuz dogfood-for-brekfest time (i luv that radio).

so i asked my lindsay ware she wuz hiding (after i finished my brekfest of course) and she said she wuz in washington. i like washington cuz they haf a good ocean there. i asked my lindsay why she wuz hiding there so long and she just said some nonsense about taking a shower or sumthin. silly lindsay! i know the shower is in the evil bathroom.

so i got sneaky and looked at the picktures on my spy camera (she took it wifout asking me) and look wut i found!

cousin bruce looking smug wif lindsays shoe (evidence!)

cousin jackie looking guilty

and cousin bella looking sneaky!!

so it wuz my dog cousins who took my lindsay and hid her away for so long!
next time i go to washington i am going to haf to bring those three in for questioning!
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Monday, August 13, 2007

looking for my lindsay!

ok lindsay ware are you? this is a reelly long game of hide-dog-seek! it is only half as fun wif only half my peepol to play wif and randy has been making skary noises wif saws and tools and things in the baby room.

hey dog friends if you see my lindsay will you tell her i am looking for her and she can come back now? i last saw her three brekfests ago just after the big red things came out from under the big bed and ate all her stuff. i thot she wuz playing hide-dog-seek wif me but this game is going on too long and i miss my lindsay. life just iznt the same wifout my lindsay around!
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Saturday, August 11, 2007

bird home for sale

single-family bird home on a quiet street.
conveniently located next to the fire hydrant with abundant worm supply.
one bedroom that also serves as a dining room and bathroom (0.7 square feet).
recently remodeled using the finest plastic sheeting.
very safe community is protected by one keeshond and two guard bears. a great place to raise your chicks!
current tenants (ants) keep it spotlessly clean. a real beauty!

asking price is one 40-pound bag of iams adult medium chunk dog food.
for inquiries leave message at ivy's real estate office, under the skwerrel tree, the back yard.
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Saturday, August 04, 2007

peepol anniversary = dog vacation!

hey hey dog friends! my randy and lindsay decided to celebrate hafing theyr rings for 42 dog years (that is 6 in peepol-years) by taking me on a dog vacation!

we went to a bed and bark-fest by the beach. oh boy! did i mention that i luv the beach?

this is me wen i first discovered the water.

this is me and my new friend survivor playing in the water. my peepol were yelling at me the whole time i wuz in the water. i think they must haf been cheering me on. yeah.

here is my lindsay trying to get all the nice bay water off of me while my other new friend izzy watches. aw lindsay, how embarassing!!

the next morning i went swimming again and then we got in my dog car and drove to another beach and i got to eat waves and chase sticks that my randy threw in the water. oh dog that wuz fun but i sure got tired. enuf vacation for ivy!

my randy and lindsay took a lot of other picktures but i think there are too many for my bloggy. if you want to see them you can click on this. just ignore all the stupid captions that randy added. he is obviously not as clever of a thinker and writer as i am.

happy anniversary peepol! thanks for taking me swimming! lets do it again next year!

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Thursday, August 02, 2007

my exciting walk

wen i took my randy for our walk-on-the-leash tonite we had lots of dogvenchers!
first i saw a wanted poster for an outlaw cat named charlie. ok maybe the cat wuzent an outlaw but her pickture wuz on the poster and peepol were looking for her. i dont reelly understand cats but this one on the poster looked reelly sad and randy said she wuz lost so i kinda felt sorry for her.

then we walked down another street and i saw a cat that looked like charlie and i said hey hey randy isnt that the wanted cat? and he called to it but it just gave us that cat look. so i said i wud go get the cat but instead my randy tied my leash to a pee-mail post! and then he went to talk to the cat!! i wuz very upset and told them both so.

a nice lady came out of the house and said it wuzent the wanted cat after all. it wuz just her neighbor cat. oh well!

my silly randy didnt bring the camera on our walk so i told him he better take a pickture of me wen we got back. and i said i cud look reelly cute if there wuz some rice. so i got rice. hurray!
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Wednesday, August 01, 2007

good helper gets nuthin'

wen we went to the cool dog treat store my randy got me a bowser beer.

for sum reason he thot it wuz reelly cool but i gess he forgot that i dont reelly like beer cuz it makes my nose tickle.

but anyway this beer had a dog pickture on it and it said it tasted like beef and stuff so...

...i tried to drink the dog beer and abby's dad gave her sum to try too and the peepol were all watchin' us like it wuz suddenly reelly fun to watch dogs drink. huh.

it wuzent all bad but it wuzzent as good as water from the magic bowl in the bathroom.

silly peepol dont know anything!

wen we got home i saw that my peepol had put a cup in the dirty dishes holder wif sum melted butter still on it!

i thot about telling the peepol so they cud rinse it off better but then i decided to be a good helper and clean up that butter all by myself.

i just knew the peepol wud be so proud of me!

so tonite wen my randy made dinners i sat down reelly pretty and looked as cute as i cud and i told my randy how i wuz such a good helper that i reelly did deserve sum of that cheesy dinner please.

and gess wut? my randy picked sumthing off and it fell on the floor and he said that magic word i luv to hear... whoops! and i jumped over and pounced on a big piece of...

...mushroom!?!? wut kind of a treat is a piece of mushroom?

*sheesh* nobody appresheates the dog! see if i ever decide to be a good helper again!

well... if it involves butter maybe i will help out just a few more times anyway. just cuz i am so good!