Squirrels are Evil!

One Dog -- One Mission: To uncover the Great Squirrel Conspiracy

Saturday, March 31, 2007

my pads are just fine!

oh wut a bizzy day i had today! i wuz just reading about how much hard work the army of four did with the mulching and the magic food box moving and all. i didnt haf that much work but i sure did haf a skare! let me tell you about it...

my randy and lindsay went crazy again this morning and decided to take apart my dog car. they didnt even ask me if it wuz ok - they just started jacking it up and taking the wheels off!
i askeded them just wut they thot they were doin and my randy said the dog car needed new pads. oh ok... wait a minnit! and just how do you change the pads?

well randy said you haf to use a hammer and a screwdriver and some pliers and this giant c clamp... but by that point i wuzzent lissening to him at all. my mind wuz spinning around and around like a crazy skwerrel on catnip. all i cud think about wuz my poor little pads on my poor little feet getting squished in that giant clamp!

you dont think they change dog pads do you?

tell me dog friends... do you think i am next? i like my pads just fine... i dont think they need changing! Posted by Picasa

Thursday, March 29, 2007

my back yard is a jungle!

the noizy grass eater has been sleeping in the garage all winter and i think he mite haf oversleeped! sumbody shud wake him up and tell him that my back yard is growing into a jungle before it grows up over my head and hides all my toys!

on my last bloggy hana said that she thinks my peepol are food oriented. i asked my randy and he said that means they like food reelly good. well if that is wut it meens than i must be food oriented too! or at least i wud be if i got to taste more food.

last nite my peepol made this horrible stuff. i dont know wut it wuz but i call it a waste of good chicken in a pile of green yuck!
who in theyr rite mind wud want to eat that? but my peepol said it wuz good. huh... i gess they reelly must be food oriented!

thanks hana for teaching me a new word. Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

can i post a scent on my bloggy?

oh my dog friends! you wuddent beleeve the good smells i had in my house all last nite! i asked my randy if i cud post the smell for you on my bloggy but he said he didnt think so. silly peepol... always so sure about wut you cant do.

oh well. just look at the pickture and tell your nose to use its imaginashun!
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Sunday, March 25, 2007

fixin my christmas skwerrel

hey hey dog friends! happy sunnyday!

do you remember wen my christmas skwerrel lost his head? well today my randy finally got around to putting it back on! poor skwerrel wuz probly getting used to living wifout a head by now.

this surgery stuff makes me tired! good thing the operating table is also a big soft bed.

there you go skwerrel! now that you haf your head back in the rite place i will protect you and make sure it never comes off again!
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Saturday, March 24, 2007

lookin out for spring!

my good friend the tube wolf posted some skary warnings about spring... first lex wuz skared of spring and tubey laffed at him. but then tubeys mom got a rash from spring! yikes!

so i decided as offishul protector of my house i had better protect my peepol from spring. but i am only one dog and i cant be everyware so i called my trusty guard bears together and gave them theyr assignments.

i had to post the guard bears in good lookout spots ware they cud see spring comin but spring cuddent see them...

it wuzzent easy to find the very best spots but i wuz up for the challenge. nobody knows my yard as well as i do!

i found just the spot for blue bear!

bring it on spring! just try to sneak up on my house! you dont stand a chance!

Thursday, March 22, 2007

i am the hamburgler!

tonite my peepol watched a silly movie on the magic box and my randy cooked hamburgers in the hot smoky box that lives in the garage. i dont touch that box with my nose cuz randy says it mite be hot and you never know!

those hamburgers smelled soooo good! i told my peepol that i wuz very good all day and i needed a bite to keep my energy up but i thot they didnt lissen to me cuz nobody ever lissens to ivy. but then....

i got a piece of hamburger!!
ivy wins!!

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Tuesday, March 20, 2007

taking care of my randy

today is a wierd day. kinda like a weekend cuz my randy didnt go to work. we sleeped a lot and i got my second brekfast late wen it wuz all light outside.

after second brekfast my randy got out all kinds of silly papers and scribbled and growled at them for a long time. i said hey hey randy wuts wrong wif those papers? and he just said sumthin about taxis or texas or sumthin i didnt unnerstand. i offered to shred all the papers and make them much more fun to play wif cuz i am so good at that but randy didnt lissen to me.

wen he wuz done with the taxis he wuz much happier so i said it is nap time! and he said ok!
silly peepol cant take care of themselves. good thing ivy is here to make sure we dont forget nap time! Posted by Picasa

Sunday, March 18, 2007

ich liebe zahnputzer!

tonite abbys mom and dad came over to our house and abby wuz sooooo happy she did a little abby dance and sang a little abby song. and gess wut abbys mom and dad brot me? they brot me a bag of zahnputzer for being so good and sharing my house and my backyard with abby! wooo hoooo!

i haf never heard of zahnputzer before but my nose translated it for me... cookie!!! mmmmm!

Saturday, March 17, 2007

santa rope's last stand

he wuz a jolly, friendly soul;
his belly was a jelly bowl;
he never brot me lumps of coal;
my silly santa rope.

he napped wif me wen i wuz sad,
and hid wif me wen i wuz bad;
the best santa i ever had:
i loved you santa rope!

then abby came, i had to share
my santa rope wif her, i swear
it wuz almost too much to bear;
be careful, santa rope...

this morning wen i went outside:
an awful site! i neerly cried!
my santa's innards were outside!
no hope for santa rope.

i'll sing a mournful ivy song
tonight wen shadows get reel long,
but mourning never lasts too long
so long to santa rope.

Friday, March 16, 2007

cheek to cheek

today after my peepol came home my randy said hey hey girls do you need a cookie? and me and abby both said oh yeah! and randy said you have to sit! and so we both sat down and our butts were touching!! ewwww! but randy said you have to stay if you want a cookie! so we stayed like that for the longest time and we were so good and then we got to eat our cookies and they were the best cookies ever! Posted by Picasa

Thursday, March 15, 2007

abby and ivys movie reviews: plague dogs

hey hey dog friends! abby and me want to tell you about this movie called the plague dogs. dont watch it!! it is the skariest movie we haf ever seen! i added it to my peepols list of movies to get on the pooter wen the peepol werent looking and wen it showed up in the box on the pee-mail post my peepol brot it in and we watched it.

my lindsay wuz smart cuz she cud tell it wuz a bad bad sad sad movie rite away. it made her so sad she cuddent even finish her pizza! (i dont think i haf ever been that sad...) so me and abby and randy watched the rest of the movie. randy kept saying it had to get better but the longer it went the worser it got.

ivy gives it four paws down.
yeah this is abby. that movie sucked. it wuz more fun to watch the fuzz on the floor than to watch those poor dogs get chased around by bad men with guns. i wanted pizza but i didnt get any. that sucked too. four paws down! Posted by Picasa

Monday, March 12, 2007

working on my hana look

hey hey all my dog friends! thank you all for your helpful suggeshuns to make my peepol behave. i likeded nanooks idea the best! tee hee!

since i am not getting nearly enuf handouts these past few days i haf decided to try working on my look. hana is so my hero and inspirashun becuz she has mastered her look so good she can even get buttery popcorn!
here i am working on my own poor ivy look. as hard as i try i dont think i am as good as hana cuz it did not get me any of wutever wuz in that bowl!

i wuz so impressed wif hanas look that i nominated her for the awesome blog award for march! go hana! Posted by Picasa

Sunday, March 11, 2007

pretzel thief!

do you remember valendogs day wen i sent pretzel coupons to all my dog friends? well i wuz sneeky and sent one to myself too!
my mouth wuz all drooly and my tummy wuz all happy thinking about that yummy pretzel just for ivy... and then gess wut happened? yesterday my randy took my coupon and ate my pretzel himself!! and it had my name on it too! i think i shud call the pretzel store and haf them arrest my randy cuz he is a pretzel thief!

Saturday, March 10, 2007

sharing part 2: you cant haf my lindsay!

last nite my peepol were playing theyr silly games on the magic window again. i hate it wen they do that cuz if i try to say hey hey ivy wants to walk! the peepol just get annoyed and say sit down ivy you are blocking the magic box!

but gess wut abby did? she sat down rite on my lindsays lap while she wuz playing games and abby got to stay!
just look at that smug abby look she is giving me. wen she looks at me wif one ear up and one ear down she is saying tee hee! i am the little boss and i win!
abby says that to me a lot.

how much more do i haf to share? i dont like this one bit! Posted by Picasa

Friday, March 09, 2007

but i dont like to share!

gess who came over to my house the day before yesterday? abby came over to my house! and she sleeped two sleeps and she still hasnt gone home yet!

ever since abby came over i haf been hearing a lot of this word share. i dont like it. i haf to share my toys and i haf to share treats and i haf to share the big bed!

today wen my peepol came home they showed me that i got a bag in my pee mail box! gess who the bag wuz from? it wuz from hershey and copper!! and it had cookies inside!!! there were two cookies but did i get both of them? nooooo! i had to share my cookies with abby! and the bag had my name on it. how not fair is that?

sharing is stupid.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

i look like a what?!?

today wen me and my randy went for our walk-on-the-leash we passed some peepol-puppies who were playing and jumping on a giant black pancake in theyr back yard. just as i wuz finishing my smelling inspection of a pee-mail bush i heard the peepol-puppies start yelling:

a wolf! a wolf! its a wolf!!

i said wares the wolf? and my randy said she's not a wolf! her name is ivy!

whoa! they thot that i wuz a wolf! how cool is that? i didnt think that i wuz so skary lookin. i bet i cud skare the skwerrels reelly good if i look like a wolf!

so i thot i better poll my bloggy audience and find out if those peepol puppies are reelly rite. wut do you think? do i look like a wolf?? i haf included pictures of a wolf and me to help you see the resemblence.

Friday, March 02, 2007

i dream of cream

if there is just one speshul treat
that reelly tempts my tummy,
it'd haf to be that box of cream;
its yummier than yummy!

my randy shares the cream wif me,
but just a little bit;
he puts the box down on the floor
and tellses me to sit.

i am the model dog of good,
i wait so pashiently;
but deep inside my tummy screams:
i want that cream in me!!

my ears tune out the world of sound;
i want randy to say
that magic word i long to hear
the beautiful "OK".

then after 'bout a million waits
my heart at last rejoices
it sings a happy joyful song
with lots of happy voices!

i think i will sleep good tonite
and if i haf a dream
its sure to be a happy one:
tonite i dream of cream!