Squirrels are Evil!

One Dog -- One Mission: To uncover the Great Squirrel Conspiracy

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

babies get all the good stuff

look at this baby. just look at him!

does he look like he needs a giant ball to play wif? how about two giant play balls? wut is a tiny baby going to do wif these?

now i cud haf a great time if sumbody gave me play balls like that... but nooooo! as soon as i start to bark at them and chase them around i get yelled at and told that they are not mine. sheesh.

meanwhile my peepol are still busy torchering my poor bp. they took him for a ride in the car yesterday and wen they came back he had another battle wound on his heel! and two more on his little legs!

you shudda heard how much yelling he did... even that cool dog on his bib cuddent make him happy. poor bp!
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Saturday, January 26, 2008

visiting abby

tonite i took my peepol over to my friend abby's house for a visit.

i checked out her carpet to make sure it wuz still soft enuf. she kept checking on me to make sure i wuz comfy. or maybe it wuz to make sure i didnt steal her toys.

next we checked out her throw rug. it took both of us to do it cuz it is so big.

finally wen abby wuz looking the other way i got the chance to snatch her skweeky purse! i luv that purse! it makes the best skweek sound ever. wen abby figured out where her purse went she wuz not happy but she didnt say anything about it cuz i am bigger than she is so i am the boss. i like being the boss of sumbody! tee hee!
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Monday, January 21, 2008

i got sour cream!

my peepol had chili con carne for dinner tonite. that means chili wif carne. but they shud haf called it chili con sour cream cuz thats wut they covered it wif! more importantly, i got to lick the sour cream-cicle spoon. note my excellent technique that allows me to get even the bits that stuck to the handle of the spoon. this takes years of practice to perfect let me tell you!

i hope that your nites were just as productive... and yummy!
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Saturday, January 19, 2008

my strange disease!

hello again dog friends! i am sorry i haf not blogged all week. i haf been very busy taking care of my bp and trying to figure out this mysterious disease that i seemed to haf got and then got rid of.

on tuesday morning is wen it started i think. i wuz confused as ever and kept asking my randy if it wuz brekfest time and he said no! and then we did it again and again and i kept going back to sleep. then all of a sudden... my neck started chirping! it sounded like i had a bird in my throat! and just at the same time my randy springed out of bed and scooped my dogfood for brekfest!

i wuz worried that i wuddent be able to eat cuz of the bird but it didnt make any difference. how strange! stranger still is that it happened again each morning just like that... bird chirping, randy springing, dogfood pouring, gulp-gulp-gulp.

i wuz so worried about the bird growing up big and wut wud happen to me. wut if this is the thing called bird flu? but then my lindsay fixed it. she took that bird flu rite out of my neck and gave it to the bedpost next to my bed. i didnt even know that bedposts cud get bird flu... but i am not complaining as long as i dont haf to have it. i still hear the chirping every morning and now it just makes me happy cuz it means brekfest-time! woo hoo!
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Sunday, January 13, 2008


since my bp has come into my life, everything has become much more confusing. i used to know exactly wut my peepol were saying and wut it meant, but now i am not sure of anything anymore. my randy says do you want to go for a ride in the car? and i say yes! yes! and he says not you, ivy! i wuz talking to ben! then my lindsay says are you hungry? do you want to eat? and i say yes! yes! i do! i do! and she says not you ivy! i meant benjamin!

the worst confusion of all is that i dont know wen brekfest time is anymore. it used to be wen my randy got up out of bed then it wuz brekfest time. every day! that is always the way it has been! but now my randy gets up and i say good morning! time for brekfest! and he takes my bp in his arms and just walks rite past me!

so wen he comes back i walk in front of him and sit reelly pretty and try again but he walks past me again and goes back to bed! this happens a cupple of times almost every nite! how am i supposed to know wen it is brekfest time anymore? i am so confused!
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Friday, January 11, 2008

my new greeters!

hey hey dog friends! i got a new thing! gess wut it is?

yes, you gessed it: its a new doormat wif happy dogs all over it!

my randy brot it home from the target-dog store and i said oh cool! but then i got to thinking... is it a good thing becuz mailmen and cats will be too skared to come up on my porch, or is it a bad thing becuz peepol are going to be wiping theyr feets on dog faces? i dunno! wut do you think?
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Sunday, January 06, 2008

teaching my bp

here is a pickture of me yesterday while i wuz teaching my bp: warning him about the tricky ways of evil skwerrels and all theyr dangers.
as you can see, he is reelly starting to be more alert and pay attention to his lessons! he has good control of his head so he isn't flailing around all over the place; he just looks into my eyes and i tell him how to be a good puppy. i am so proud of him!
he is getting so big so fast too. my randy told me that wen they went to the peedy-a-fishin for bp's one-month-checkup he wuz already almost 13 pounds and 23 inches! yikes!
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Saturday, January 05, 2008

flash art

i noticed on the website of my new friends flash and peanut that while peanut got some cool art made of him, poor flash was left out! flash even had a reelly cute pickture that wudda made great art too!

so i made flash a little ivy art so he wuddent feel so bad. it may not be as good as cubby art, but it is the best a keeshond-X can do:

hope that makes ya feel better, flash my friend!
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Thursday, January 03, 2008

danger lurks everywhere!

trubbling news, my dog friends, very trubbling news: i wuz recently informed that there wuz a skwerrel saboteur who last year tried to bring down a jumbo jet full of peepol! check out this story on usatoday.com to read all about it. i dont know about you, but that is just about the skariest thing i haf ever heard. no wonder my peepol refuse to take me for trips on airplanes - they are too dangerous!

closer to home, my poor little brave little benjamin came home today wif a battle wound on his heel! oh no! wut did they do to you my bp? don't worry, ivy will make it better. dog kisses cure anything that ails you.

after dealing wif two skary things in one day i thot it wuz time for me to start studying my new book:

this wuz a christmas present from my good friend jeaner-beaners. how thotful and how timely! a world full of dangers calls for a dangerous dog! that is gonna be me! you can call me danger-dog ivy from now on! woof!
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Wednesday, January 02, 2008

grammy and papa and giant pretzels!

look who came to visit me! it's my grammy and papa! they came all the way here in the belly of a giant bird just to see me!

of corse since they were here already i said it was ok for them to visit with my bp a little bit too.

and last nite my randy made the giantest pretzels i ever did see! they were bigger than my head! all i got wuz two bites... but they were good!

and then i spent sum time wif my benjamin - teaching him a thing or two about being a good dog.

i think he is reelly starting to unnerstand me and pay attention to his lessons! it is hard to tell cuz he doesn't say much that i can recognize but i think he is coming along very well.
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Tuesday, January 01, 2008

happy new year!

go ahead and sleep in this morning. you know you deserve it.
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