Squirrels are Evil!

One Dog -- One Mission: To uncover the Great Squirrel Conspiracy

Thursday, November 30, 2006

requiem for a pirate

pam the pumpkin went to the big patch in the sky tonite. i will miss her. here is a poem i wrote to remember her by:

i met you wen you wuz a pup
and wached you as you growed all up;

you made me such a happy girl
you helped me look for evil skwerrels.

wen you moved inside my house
you were as quiet as a mouse.

then it came time for halloween;
you were my pirate pumpkin queen!

now sluggies moved into your head;
i'm sorry pam i gess you're dead.

rest in pieces

Monday, November 27, 2006

Skwerrels shot down my helicopter!

today while my peepol were gone the brown man with the big skary truck came on my porch and left big boxes without my permission! i told him no no no brown man! you go away now! and he left! but he left the boxes. musta been too skared to take em.

wen my peepol got home they were all excited about the boxes. i thot hey maybe there are cookies in there! but no cookies! only lactaid pills that i sumtimes like to eat and a very tiny helicopter.

randy wuz very happy about the helicopter. he said it wuz for uncle joel but that he had better try it out to make sher it worked. i said huh?

hey hey hey! this is a no fly zone in here! i totally did not give that helicopter permisshun to fly in my house!!

well the helicopter got tired and slowed down and then stopped and randy plugged it into the wall to rest and get its energy back he said. i thot it wud be fine if it rested forever.

then we all went for a ride in the car to get a pu pu platter. mmmmm! i luv those smells.

wen we got back the noizy beeper started beepin and the peepol got all crazy and runned around and i said hey hey i smell smoke!! and randy said he smelled smoke too and we went in the office and there were flames! that helicopter wuz a big pile of burning black stuff!! oh my DOGNESS!

lindsay got the red sprayer and i ran out my dog door and wen i came back in everything wuz smokey but no more flames.

this is all that wuz left of the tiny helicopter:

this can only mean one thing: the skwerrels haf surface to air missles!
i dont think uncle joel is going to get a helicopter for christmas now.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

why dog friends are the best

dog friends are always there to hold your paw

dog friends never complain. even wen your door is too small.

dog friends help you wach for oopses under the table.

dog friends share the dog rug with you even wen there isnt much to share.
 Posted by Picasa

Thursday, November 23, 2006

oh the food!

you wuddent beleeve how much food my peepol made today!! it wuz amazing! they chopped and stirred and baked and roasted and oh the smells i smelled!
hey! wut is this in the bowl? that isnt wut i smelled! i dont eat this junk!

now that is more like it! thats wut i like to smell! that is one huge birdy!
of corse i didnt get any. i shudda known.

but i did get to lick some sour cream! i luv sour cream! i had to share it with my friends tank and sly who came to visit. we got two licks each! mmmmm!!

those boys are so loud and rowdy. they like to wrestle in my house with my toys. i yell and yell and tell them they cant do that in here but they dont ever lissen to me. nobody ever lissens to ivy. my lindsay and randy even yelled at me for yelling too much and told me to quiet down!

after all that wrestling the boys were tired so they took a nap on my dog couch. i didnt get to use my dog couch at all even for a little bit all day!
now it is everybody-go-to-sleep-time. i better go tuck my peepol into bed and make sure there are no crumbs left on the floor...

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving to Skidboot

happy thanksgiving to skidboot my favorite dog superstar! even though you are losing your site your dad is still so thankful to haf you in his life. thank you for making so many peepol happy and for being such a cool dog. you are my hero skidboot!

Sunday, November 19, 2006

little boss and her hexapus

my friend abby showed up at my house the nite before last nite and she didnt go home! she stayed all nite and all the next day and she took the best warm spot on the blankie with my randy while he wuz reading books. grrrrrrr....

abby's peepol call her the little boss cuz she bosses everyone around. she even bosses me wen she is at my house!
one good thing about abby is that she comes with a hexapus just like mine. i dont know if my hexapus ever gets lonely but i think he does. so now he gets to play with another hexapus for a while. doesnt he look happier?

the other good thing about abby is that she ate sumthing she shuddenta and so now she hasta eat chicken-n-rice for a while! and my lindsay said if abby hasta eat chicken-n-rice then ivy shud eat it too!! woo hoo!!

not everything this weekend is happy tho. yesterday my lindsay took me to the place ware the peepol in white coats poke at you with sharp things. they poked me in the shoulder and in the butt! i wuz so askared that i did my get-away dance and i got out of my collar!! freedom!!! but it didnt last long and they got me pinned again. *sigh*

today it wuz abby's turn to get torchered! she got her hairs cut and got a bath! snicker-snicker! i am so glad that i didnt hafta take a bath!

Friday, November 17, 2006

my toys are hiding!!

today my randy wuz sick. i cud tell becuz he didnt get out of bed for a long time and his face stayed fuzzy all day. i tried to take good care of him but he didnt want to do any of the things that i knew wud make him feel better like going for a walk or giving me some cookies.

since randy wuz home anyway and wuzent much use for anything else i told him he better at least make me a game. so he did. and now gess wut? all my toys are hidden!! grrrrr! wut kind of game is this?!?

can you help me find all my toys? i tried and it just gives me a headache.

see if i ever ask my randy to make me a game again! hmphf!

Monday, November 13, 2006

the evil skwerrel police impersonator!

my good friends and fellow dog blogging warriors akira and shiro just sent me the skariest news i haf seen in a while. be warned this is not for puppies...

apparently there is a skwerrel master of disgizes who dresses up as all sorts of unnatural things to weasel his way into the hearts and minds of unsuspecking peepol.

he even goes so far as to impersonate an officer of the law! who knows wut wicked things he does with the power of the police!

so beware peepol! beware dogs! if you are going for a ride-in-the-car and you see blue flashing lights behind you... look closer! make sure there is no fuzzy tail or beady little eyes staring back at you from the rear view mirror!

thank you akira and shiro. you are true supporters of the cause.

my new favorite word

the day before the day before today my peepol put all theyr clothes and stuff into bags and left me behind! they told me to stay here and be good ivy wich is wut they always say wen they leave me behind.

well i waited for them and waited for them and wen it wuz dogfood for dinner time my peepol still werent home but then gorby the cat's mom and dad came to my house and gess wut they had? they had the most wunnerful smelling thing ever! it wuz called pork loin and now that is my new favorite word! pork loin for dinner! pork loin for desert!

well they left and i waited for my peepol to come but they didnt come and they didnt come and then it wuz ivy bed time but i cuddnt sleep cuz i wuz so worried and i stayed by the door all nite and didnt sleep at all! then i woked up and it wuz dogfood for brekfest time but my peepol still werent home! gorby's mom came again to give me brekfest but no pork loin this time. oh well.

finally my peepol came back! i jumped and jumped for joy and told them all about the pork loin but they just rubbed my ears and said they were sorry for leaving me behind. i said well dont leave me behind again! but they didnt lissen. nobody ever lissens to ivy.

oh well. maybe if it happens again i will get some more pork loin.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

hard work for nothing

since it has been so dark outside my peepol haf not been going for walks so much. i know that a good dog shud take theyr peepol for walks as much as possible to get them outside ware it is healthy and good to be.

so i decided if i cant get my peepol outside maybe i shud bring the outside to my peepol! wut a smart dog i am!
i worked and worked to bring as much grass as i cud in thru my dog door. it wuz hard work let me tell you! but then just wen my hard work wuz finally starting to pay off randy goes and sweeps up all my pretty grass and sucks it up with the evil carpet-eater! sheesh!

all that hard work for nothing. my peepol just dont appresheate all i do for them! Posted by Picasa

Monday, November 06, 2006

an uninvited visitor!

wen my peepol came home tonite i wuz all set to greet them and say how much i missed them and tell about the skwerrels i chased and hey wuts for dinner oh yeah dog food! but... lindsay came in the door and randy stayeded outside!

i said hey! ware is my randy? but lindsay didnt tell me so i had to run outside to peek. and gess wut i saw????

my randy wuz petting a cat across the street!!!

i yelled at randy and i yelled at the stupid cat but they didnt care. wen randy came back to my house the cat crossed the street to follow him rite to my door!!!

randy opened the door and i dashed out quick as keeshond litening to yell at that cat. i almost had my mouth on the evil thing wen lindsay grabbed me and spoiled all the fun!

then randy pickeded up the cat and walked it around my neighborhood to see ware it belonged. wen he came home he smelled like evil cat smell! *yuck!*

at least the cat didnt come home wif him.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

frosty hedgehog!

wen i woked up this morning and went to check for skwerrels gess wut i found?? my poor little hedgehog wuz all frosty and cold! poor thing!

i warmeded him up and got him all unfrosty.
ware did all that frost come from? wen did it get cold? wuzent it just summer a little while ago?

maybe i shud send my hedgehog to go live with opy down ware it stays warm! Posted by Picasa

Thursday, November 02, 2006

howl-o-ween picktures

hey hey! bloggy is taking my picktures and not spitting them back out now! hurray!

here is me in my super ivy suit and my bat-randy and all our punkins gourding the front porch.

here is our punkins lookin reel skary after it got dark.
pam the pirate lookeded so skary that i cant even post her pickture on here cuz it mite skare the puppies!