they sit on cats dont they?

ok ok so i haf finally dragged my randy over to my dog pooter so i cud show you all wut torcher i am enduring.

at first i wuz happy wen my peepol told me we wud be cat-sitting. oh boy! i thot... i wud luv to sit on cats! but that wuzzent wut they meant.

this is the cat who rules the house ware we are staying. wen i met him the first time i told him that i wuz there to cat sit and he said nothing at all (wich wuz kinda skary) and then fixed me with those big eyes of his and talked rite into my head and told me that if i so much as got near him wif my dog behindly in a sitting position he wud rip me a new one. i dont know exactly wut that meant but it sounded reelly skary!

here we are on the back porch. the big cat told me that he has a magic gold talisman on his collar that allows him to vaporize dogs just by thinking bad thots about them. that sounded like a cat fib to me but i am kinda afraid to find out for sure.

here i am eating frosty paws in the cat kitchen. my peepol were so mean they let the cat taste my frosty paws first! but he didnt like it so i got to haf the whole thing myself. whew! wut were my peepol thinking? if you want to know whether frosty paws tastes as good wif a cat watching you the answer is yes!

i wunder if my dog friends who haf cat experience can help me learn how to live around this big skary cat. can they reelly vaporize you? is it bad if they rip you a new one? a new what? do i even want to know? help me!