i will read this from a prepared statement: last nite i wuz shocked and dismayed to hear that my lindsay and my randy are accusing me of binky theft. i unnerstand that binkys are disappearing from our house at an alarming rate and i haf heard that my peepol are unable to locate said binkys despite theyr attempts at a "thorough" search of the house; however, i catagorically deny any responsibility for the disappearances (wut wud i do wif a pacifier anyway?) and in fact i mean to do everything in my power to find the real culprits and clear my good name. i suspect skwerrel involvement.
thank you, that is all.